Step into another world
by ScoobyGal55
Summary: In the episode Birthday in Angel's third season, we got a glimpse of what life was like without Cordy in Angel Investigations. This story gives you a longer look at what could have been.
1. Doyle

Step into another world  
  
Summary: Sort of set during "Birthday" I wanted to take that stupid "What if..." scene out of my head. I was wondering "What happened moments before Doyle died in the Birthday reality." This is part one. I may have more with the same Birthday reality. So here it goes. Read with care.  
  
Doyle stepped onto the platform with his dear friend Angel. He knew they had to beat this thing. Ever since he had gotten to know his demon side, gotten his visions he had been afraid of this very thing. But now wasn't the time to be afraid. Now, he had to be brave. They had to beat this thing  
  
Ever since Harriet had left him, he had wished that he could find somebody, somebody that he could be with. It felt so right. But it wasn't. There was no woman with the key to his heart. The key was there just nobody wanted it.  
  
The other day this broad, Buffy Summers, had come to LA to talk to his old honey. To Doyle, she was only there for about twenty minutes. But to his best friend it had been a day. Doyle wished he could do something like that. Turn back time so that the person you love could be safe, even if it means the thing you've been wanting forever gets taken away. No, he could never do it.  
  
The Scourage was going to destroy them. But no. They had to do something. Doyle turned to Angel. "We have to get these people out of here. The light will destroy them. Anything with human blood will be destroyed." Angel said. Doyle knew it. Angel knew it. There was no possible way to get everyone of these people or demons or whatever over 800 miles away before the light went on. The only way to stop it would be to pull the cords.  
  
Doyle knew what he had to do.  
  
Angel knew what he had to do.  
  
Angel turned to Doyle. "The only way to stop this is to pull the cords. I-I have to jump. I can probably pull it out before the light reaches out."  
  
"Angel, it's suicide!" Doyle yelled. It felt like somebody should have said it. But saying it didn't feel right. It felt like a third person should have been there, but there wasn't. Just two friends. Doyle and Angel.  
  
"I have to! It's the only way!" The light was getting ready to perform what it is suppose to perform. The noise was getting so loud they had to scream over it.  
  
"The good fight, yeah? You never know `till you've been tested" Angel nodded, trying to hold back tears. "I get that now." He shook Angels hand. A strange blue light shone. Doyle raised his arm and punched him in the chin, knocking in off the platform into the Cargo, below with the others.  
  
"Doyle! Doyle! Doyle! Doyle! NO!"  
  
To Doyle, this moment was devoted to somebody. But that somebody had not been found. Maybe it was suppose to be, but it would never. Doyle took one last look at his friend and then jumped into the light, demon face on. He pulled on the cords.  
  
In his last moments he did not think about his best friend, Angel. No, he thought about the one who was suppose to be here. The one that Doyle would love. But he wouldn't get that feeling. Not in this world. 


	2. Angel

Step into Another World  
  
  
  
A/N: It's been a while since I worked on this one. I thought it would give me a nice change of pace (and help me work on my writer's block). So be nice to me and review.  
  
Angel  
  
He had always been a loner. There was no change in that. But now. now he was an even bigger loner. His only friend in all of Los Angeles was dead. Boy is that a downer. All Angel had done for a week was mope. There was no caring shoulder by his side, nobody who felt his pain. Nobody could understand what he was going through. For years and years (hundreds of them) he had been a horrible per- thing. He was an evil vampire. A killer.  
  
He had never really lost somebody. Sure his whole family was dead, but he had no time for remorse back then, but this was different. Doyle was the first person he had lost while he had a soul. The blow was horrible. But that's why he was here.  
  
The Oracles would surely help one of their own. Doyle had visions of the future. Without him there was no way for Angel to get in contact with the real world. There was no way he could save people. But they were being stubborn.  
  
He had argued that without Doyle he could no longer work for the Powers. But they had a counter argument, if that's what you'd call it. "For every door that closes another opens." Whatever that meant. He knew what it meant. But what did it mean in his case?  
  
Was another person going to come into his life and replace his only beloved friend? How was that possible? Doyle was Doyle. In Angel's life, he had only loved Buffy. But that was a different love.  
  
So he left, head down in shame. He just knew that life would never be the same.  
  
*@*  
  
He was right; life was not the same. It was much harder. In the past month he had only slayed one demon. One demon! That was not progress. Where was this door that was supposed to open? All doors were closed.  
  
That's when it happened.  
  
The vision hit. The blinding pain that Doyle had once possessed. The pictures flash so fast that he could hardly see them. But for some reason he understood what was happening. He could feel the pain. It was the worst pain. Not from the vision. No, it was the victim's pain. How did Doyle survive?  
  
The vision seemed to go on for hours when in reality it was not more then a minute. It was Wesley Windom- Pryce. He was once Buffy's Watcher. But now. now he was stupid. A Kungai demon. It was hurting him.  
  
The pictures stopped. The pain went on. If only Advil helped vampires.  
  
I have to save him. But where? Charleston Ave. How do I know that? Oh right. The vision.  
  
He ran. He ran to save this man who had once offered to save him (although he didn't do much when the council said no).  
  
*@*  
  
When he got there it was too late. No not too late.  
  
Angel swooped in. The demon was attacking Wesley. Biting him. Chewing on his arm.  
  
Angel attacked. He fought and fought with the weapon he had brought. He pushed Wesley away.  
  
Yes, it was too late. Wesley was hurt. Badly. If he didn't kill the demon quickly, Wesley would surely bleed to death.  
  
So he fought. He fought until the demon died. His head was still surging with pain but that didn't stop him from fighting, killing, ending the demon's pain.  
  
He couldn't help thinking that he was not meant for this. The visions were not his. No, they were Doyle's. But still it did not feel right. He knew that later on, he would not be able to take the pain of the vision and fight what he saw. He would need people. More people.  
  
And that's when the insanity started. 


	3. Wesley

Step into Another World  
  
A/N: I actually got reviews for this chapter. Wow. The first chapter I wrote was way back when the episode first aired and one person reviewed. That just discouraged me a lot. But no fear I am back with your third installment of Step into Another World.  
  
*@*  
  
Wesley  
  
As I sit here, I remember not to long ago when Angel saved me. And then I saved him. I don't know what makes me think of this. But then I look in the mirror and see myself. Regular me. Wesley the guy with two legs, two eyes, and one arm.  
  
When I called my father from the hospital, he laughed. He told me he knew that I would screw up. He told me that I would never amount to anything. But that's my father. And I hate it.  
  
Since that horrible night I have learned to fight. I have learned to move with a bit of grace. I have learned to do everything with one arm. I can move a weapon quite well. I learned most of this by myself.  
  
At first Angel began to help me. And it was a great help. But the lessons became less and less. The pain hurt Angel in a way he couldn't even imagine. He began to retreat into himself. He sat alone in his office more and more.  
  
They started a business. It pays the bills. People come. They ask for help. I help them. They leave. This is the way it always works. It gets lonely.  
  
Angel use to fight along side me. But he usually stayed home now. When he started talking to himself, that's when I began to see that the visions hurt him in a much bigger way. After his friend Doyle died, he stopped. Stopped caring.  
  
Once he sent me to stop a vampire from killing a gypsy girl. The vampire name Angelus. He swore he had a vision. But I know it was just a memory. A haunting memory.  
  
Now he has sent me on yet another mission. "Alley behind the Tai place. There are gangster looking guys. They're fighting vampires."  
  
"And we must find them?"  
  
He ignores the question. "The leader. his sister. You have to save his sister."  
  
So that's why I'm here. To save his sister. The man's name is Charles Gunn. And he is more stubborn then Angel. He refuse to believe me.  
  
"So your saying that some power sent you to save us? I think we can save us ourselves."  
  
"Not just some power. The Powers That Be. They control all that happens. They are the ultimate good. They send visions to my friend, Angel and he sends me to help. He saw your sister die."  
  
"My sis?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"So why did your friend chose you, mister British"  
  
"Wesley. My name is Wesley. He sends me because he can not go. The visions have made him quite mad."  
  
"Then that's it. He's just crazy." He turns to his men. "Let's get out of here."  
  
"No. He may be mad but his visions are never wrong. He is the only vampire in the world with these visions, so nobody else will be here to save you."  
  
"Vampire? You work for a vampire?"  
  
"I work with a vampire. And he has a soul. Why else would he send me to save her?"  
  
His sister comes out.  
  
"Charles, what's going on out here?"  
  
"Nothing, go back in."  
  
"It's not nothing." I yell. "Your sister is in danger."  
  
This is when they grab me. One hard blow to my face. They hear from behind a girl yelling. I knew this would happen. And I hate it.  
  
His sister is gone. A vampire took her. The men run for the car and chase the vampire. I follow. We fight. There are 12 vamps. There are 9 of us. I see some innocent men die. I don't like this feeling.  
  
Charles stand there watching as his sister walks toward him. I could have sworn I saw her get bitten. The last vampire runs off. That doesn't stop me from stalking him.  
  
I look back to Charles. His sister is gone. Dust. Poor Charles.  
  
"So tell me about this Angel" 


	4. Gunn

Step into Another World  
  
A/N: This is what I have planned so far so that you wont have to ask in your review: Doyle, Angel, Wesley, Gunn, Lindsey, Lilah, Darla, Cordelia, and Fred. This should be fun.  
  
*@*  
  
Gunn  
  
My sister has been dead for quiet some time now. But still there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about her. I keep thinking, what if I had just listened to Wesley. just listened to the one armed man who told me he could save me and her if I gave him the chance. But of course I was too stubborn to think of my sisters future. I couldn't help thinking at my life was already over. That we had to save people, that it was our duty. But it wasn't her duty. I got her killed.  
  
But now its my chance to amend. Amend for my sister's death. I will.  
  
So I came back to this old building. The building, apartment building, that Wesley and Angel worked in. Wesley took care of Angel. but not in a gay way. Angel went crazy months before I had even come here.  
  
I feel sorry for him. True, he is a vampire. But he didn't ask for it. And he is trying to make amends. Like me. Or at least I think he is. Sometimes I think he doesn't even know who he is. Sometimes he thinks he is just an ordinary man who sees a vampire, himself. And he tries to him. Tries to stop himself from all the things he has done wrong. But he doesn't know.  
  
Sometimes he thinks that Doyle, his old chum, is still alive. I see him talking in an empty room. I try and listen. Its always the same. He tells the air that he's sorry. He didn't mean for it to go that way. He's sorry that he couldn't save him and he's glad that he came back.  
  
And sometimes he thinks he is Doyle. He goes on and on about his ex wife, and Cordelia, and these Oracles, and The Powers That Be. When he talks as Doyle he has an Irish accent. I sometimes think that he's reliving the past of his friendship. But when I asked about the things Angel said to Wesley, he tells me that Cordelia is somebody from their past. A girl. Preppy, rich, a beautiful. I asked if he was in love with her. But his heart belonged to a slayer, Buffy.  
  
Wesley says that he doesn't know if Angel ever even noticed this Cordelia. But she exists. And everyday he continues to talk in that Irish accent screaming her name.  
  
Today I found out who she was. She's a knock out. An actress. She has her own show called "Cordy!" Wesley and I sat down to watch the episode. We hardly sit down and talk. It's usually all work and no play. But we aren't busy.  
  
He tells me that they shared a romance. I don't believe it. But he swears on it. So I guess I have to. He's never lied before.  
  
The show sucks. The acting is horrible, the plot is idiotic, but the leading chick is hott.  
  
But just as the how ends, as if on cue, Angel sobs in pain. A vision hits. Wes and I jolt from the living room to Angel's white solitary room. He cries for help.  
  
"Lawyers bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad." Angel cried. Wesley runs to him and shakes him.  
  
"Angel tell us what is happening. What do you see?"  
  
"Wolfram and Hart. Bad. Bad."  
  
"Angel!" I yell.  
  
" She's back. She's back. She's back. She's back."  
  
"Angel, you need to calm down. Who's back? And what does Wolfram and Hart have to do with it?"  
  
We know Wolfram and Hart. They're bad news. We haven't had much contact, except with two really annoying lawyers. Lindsey and Lilah. One is a push over and the other is a complete bitch. They deal with cases that have anything to do with evil. But not like us. They're on the side of evil.  
  
And they're powerful. Rich and powerful.  
  
"She's back. No not yet. She'll BE back. No not yet. No. No. No." The he looks me straight in the eyes. It kills me. He has never looked directly at me. I don't think I've seen him look directly at Wesley. His eyes are so empty. I think he's missing something. Something in his life is gone. "Please help me. Please stop them. She'll be back. Please. Please. Please. Please."  
  
He goes on. He's done telling us what we need to know. He'll continue to talk until we help him. Every job is the same. He tells us what to do and we do it. It usually is always the same. So why did he have to look at me with the hurt in those empty eyes and tell me that he need help? Why did he have to ruin it all? 'Please help me' Those words will haunt me until I finish this.  
  
I will help him. I will make amends. 


	5. Lindsey

Step into Another World  
  
A/N: Please, please, please review.  
  
*@*  
  
Lindsey POV  
  
*@*  
  
Lately I have associated the words work and boring together. I never have a challenge anymore. There was that vampire. although right now his name escapes me. But he got rid of himself. Then there was the ex watcher. But he's smart. He knows not to mess with us. Wolfram and Hart.  
  
Yes we are evil. Nothing can change that. But some of us are more evil then others. Some of us can't feel for those in need. I'm not one of those people.  
  
I see victim's. innocent victims such as children and I just want to stop them from getting hurt. But there isn't anything I can do. I'm just one man.  
  
I once made the mistake of going to the British man for help, but he just threw the whole evil thing in my face. Long story short, the children died. There was nothing I could do. I had never felt so helpless.  
  
It's one thing to feel helpless when there is nothing you can do about it, but its another when you can and you just give up.  
  
Sometimes I have nightmares. I dream that I save those kids, and every other case that I have failed to do good, and every time I see them slip away. I don't sleep much anymore.  
  
Not sleeping can help me in this job. There is always so much work. And now that I have a big competitor, I have even more to do.  
  
Lilah. The more I say the name the more I despise it. She is the pure form of evil. She sold her soul and didn't think twice. But worse of all I wish that I was like her. To be able to do our job and never feel any remorse. I can't. I won't.  
  
Sometimes I wonder if it should have been different. Instead of me being lonely and evil if I could have had somebody, even if just from a far. When I'm not having my nightmares, I dream of a girl, a woman, I love her, I hate her, I want her. But she doesn't exist.  
  
Now I can't help but wonder if all of this was not meant to be. The huge office, the horrible yet wonderful job, health not to mention wealth, and just this life. Maybe if I just ran one day. Ran away to some nowheresville. I can have a new identity, a new family, a new job, a new life. But it wasn't meant to be. I was meant to be evil. I was meant to have this life. And there is not a day goes by that I don't thank God. 


	6. Lilah

Step into Another World  
  
A/N: It has been so long since I've written this fanfiction. It's been a while since I've written any fanfiction. But today I was extremely bored, as I am most holidays (Easter is no exception), and decided to read a few of my old fics. This was the first one I read, and even though I am yet to get any inspiration to write anymore, I decided to give this chapter a go.  
  
*@*  
  
Lilah POV  
  
*@*  
  
I can't stop smiling. We did it. I did it. I have no idea why we decided it would be necessary to bring her back, but us lawyers do whatever our bosses say. No matter how crazy it is. We're ruthless that way.  
  
It's really my job to take care of her, but she wont respond to me. She didn't really talk to anybody at first. But when Pretty Boy finally decided to show up (and without a word from anybody, I may add), she turned around. She came out of her little boring shell. Now she clings to the brat. She tells him about the old days. She tells him about what she remembers about herself, and what she doesn't (note: the bitch can't even remember her real name.)  
  
I'm not hurt that she won't talk to me. I'm almost flattered. Her name is Darla. She's blonde, kind of slutty when she's around Lindsey, and she's Vision Boy's ex flame.  
  
We don't know much about the Vampire with Visions. We don't know why he helps humans or why he uses his powers for good. All we know, and care to know, is that he has information we could use, but instead of giving it to us, he gives it to the skinny British man and the black man who said he was "gonna kill" my (I believe he said 'yo' not your) "ass".  
  
We decided to get this blonde "Darla". She's supposed to bring vampy to our side. Little side step, she's human. I guess we couldn't work out all the kinks. Lucky for me. Of course nobody but little ol' Lilah gets blamed for Lindsey MacLoser not even coming to work and doing his part (which happened to be the only thing that he really ever does around here, ever since he started moping about like a freak. He's suppose to read from a fricken scroll. He gets a 6-figure salary for that.). But I really don't want to complain.  
  
I have a cushy job. We were worried a bit when the white hats showed up, but they showed some common sense. We had a deal. They don't mess with us, and we won't mess with them on Tuesdays or Saturdays. Ha. One of the men is an ex watcher. I don't know what a watcher is, but it sounds scary. Him on the other hand, not so scary. He's British, kinda (kind of very very) cute, and very strong for a man with one arm. The other guy is a black dude with major "'tude". He worse then Lindsey. Not only did he violate my personal space (which I wouldn't mind the British man doing) but he also called my mother fat (and she happens to be the person that I started this job for . Although I don't talk to her much, and when I do we talk for 30 minutes, 15 of which I spent convincing her that I was her daughter, not the devil ).  
  
All and all, so far everything has been perfect. The weirdest thing to happen to be of the late (like defending a demon in human skin for murder that was caught on tape with a confession, and winning with an innocent plead isn't odd) was me actually being dragged to a fortune teller on my birthday, by a friend (well friend by definition at that time, but are you considered friends if one had the other killed). When I walked into her "office", I half expected her to tell me I was going to meet a John Cussak looking guy and fall madly in love. But she didn't, She didn't give me any magic ball mumbo jumbo. She didn't tell me about the guy that I was going to meet when the moon was in its fourth rotation of the century. She didn't give me any of the usual. She told me about my death. 'Odd.' was of course my first thought. 'Why would a fortune teller want to tell me about something that could scare any normal customer again?' But of course, I of all people know that death is never the end. She told me about some bimbo on some tv show I've never heard of, who was going to find a man with the deepest soul and they were going to make a team. The tv show girl was going to go all evil and stab me in the throat. Right. Long story short, I called my boy toy of the month (not so slimy, ugly demon) and he killed her. End of story.  
  
I may sound evil. But people have to find a place in this world. Everybody does it. And anyway, who says what's good or evil. I found a great place. I found a perfect job. I worked out until I had the perfect body. I found a perfect home. Things may not always go my way, like Darla and Lindsey, but I can make them my way.  
  
I'm not evil, just cruel. But hey, life is cruel. Ain't it great? 


End file.
